Incompetence?

Someone asked about the stereotype that INFPs are generally incompetent (an idea people seem to associate with other NPs as well to varying degrees), and mentioned actually feeling incapable a lot of the time.  Here is my analysis of that.

In my Personal Experience (though I'm certain some INFPs won't relate to all of these)

1) INFPs are often quite competent mainly in areas that people around them do not notice or appreciate, and thus come to feel like they are 'helpless' (for example, being a good shoulder to cry on because you're a natural at empathizing with others, knowing just what to say or not say and you provide an accepting, safe haven of comfort, or being a good judge of character because you are good at listening and picking up on subtle cues about people's attitudes, but not being so good at getting people's attention when in a leadership position or not always noticing everything going on around you so you get hit in the head with the ball rather than catching it)

2) Because their natural skills are often not recognized and valued, INFPs often grow up being told they are incompetent and if this does not spur them to 'spite' others by proving them wrong, then it can lead them to believe themselves to be far more incapable of being competent than they really are and perhaps demotivate or scare them off from trying to learn or do things on their own.  I feel like a lot of modern-day 'real life' tasks aren't in areas we have natural ability or a natural inclination to develop the necessary skills, so 'real life' for us is kind of like asking a swimmer to compete in a tennis match instead. Having the encouragement of someone who actually believes in us can help make 'out-of-water' tasks more doable, but often the people pushing us to do these things don't actually communicate a respectful attitude and more often simply seem impatient. 

3) Because INFPs are not very assertive, I think people are more inclined to step in and correct or direct us than they may be with other types who put on an air of confidence even when they're unsure or who might snap at someone who tries to boss them around.  I think this is another thing that can eventually lead us to perceive ourselves as incapable of doing things on our own, when really those people were just meddling busy-bodies getting their 'I'm-so-helpful' fix off us. This can also prevent us from being able to learn things for ourselves and really internalize certain processes, abilities, and information.   

4) INFPs often value relationships where everyone gets to demonstrate their kindness by helping each-other out, more than they value not needing help from others, so they do not have the same need or drive to be self-sufficient in everything they do.  They may even stubbornly resent the push from others to be self-reliant because it goes against the value of giving people grace and showing your care.  If no-one ever needed anyone else the world would probably be a lot more of a cold, competitive place, and that's not our goal.

5) INFPs often don't value the same things other people want them to be competent in, thus they have a very hard time directing enough focus and energy into learning those skills and applying that focus every time those activities come up.  

6) INFPs need a good reason for doing something meticulously.  We can be very precise and detail oriented and thorough when we feel like those details actually make a difference and matter.  However, there are many activities where people expect us to put effort into details that we just don't see as important and feel should fall into the margin of acceptable errors. This isn't so much a matter of competence as it is of differing values.   INFPs' sense of efficiency, not wasting effort on unimportant stuff, ends up clashing with what people think we should be spending more effort on.  

So, yes, we are often incompetent (or at least perceived as such) at certain types of (boring) daily life activities, but I do not see us as simply incompetent over all.  I would be inclined to say it's more often a matter of being undervalued or marching to a different drum or trying to cope as fish out of water.